Wanted…Alive or Alive!
Have you seen these men? Under no circumstances should they be approached unless of course you are carrying a fully-loaded six-pack! Last reported being pursued across several international borders, this bunch of desperados has finally been tracked to a little-known airport in Holland. Dubbed the ‘Lelystad Six’ by the local media this dangerous, thoroughly scrupulous band including the notorious blogster ‘Captain Darling’ has resorted to extreme means in a desperate attempt to escape the lack of fire cover. Following a vicious attack on the general store in which the owner was subjected to painful puns and horrendous humour, the gang got away with a large quantity of consumables.
The accompanying photo gives some indication of the lengths to which this underclass will go to acquire calories! Shots from long distance surveillance cameras would suggest that the gang may be attempting a spectacular break-out as the arch aviator and villain known as ‘The Flying Dutchman’ has been spotted in several hazy images. Renowned for his Houdini-like escapes in C-47s it is anticipated that he and his accomplices (also believed to include the infamous painter ‘Admiral of the Rear’ as well as ‘Charlie the Cheeky Chappie’) will make their move on Tuesday when, faced with a possible pincer attack by the Lelystad foam tender and the rarely-seen fire officer they will have little option other than to take off in more ways than one!
An un-confirmed report from our Scottish correspondent Hamish MacHaggis would indicate that Wick – a well-known staging post for trans Atlantic fugitives – could be their next stop. Tune in same time tomorrow for an update to this unfolding drama…(FK News Inc.)